Music Snobs #3: Back Off!

Music snobs for a long time have hunted down and tried to eradicate the two note chord. Formally known as the power chord this tonic and dominant combination has become the outcast of music snobs and haters throughout the centuries. The emotional context and lack of complication has made this chord a pest in the eyes of the "mature musician". In reality, the power chord is just completely misunderstood. It never intended to be colorful or complex. It never promised harmonic diversity, but it does provide the back bone of almost all modern music. Parallel fifths are a joy to the dramatic angst filled teenager as he plucks out a simple melody to chronicle the sorrows of the world.

The power chord is raw and immature. It carries with it the power to sway the masses and bring cultural revolution. Although it may be harmonically boring the power chord has the ability to contain as much emotional content as the performer can muster. The power chord can be played by even the most minimally proficient guitarist. This opens the opportunity for anyone that ever wanted to express themselves musically a convenient outlet.

The bottom line is that music is just a collection of frequencies and rhythms that are played together in order to evoke an emotional response. With this in mind, music can be simple and still be highly effective. So go ahead and be freed from the criticism of the music snobs. Write a song, brighten someones day, or chronicle the depressing state of your pathetic love life. It's your thing... do what you want to do.

The Marvels of Wikipedia... Or maybe just your entertainment for the next 15 minutes.

If you click on the first link that is not in italics or parentheses of any article in Wikipedia and repeat on subsequent passages, you will without fail end up on the piece regarding Philosophy.

Don't believe me?

doorknob: 22 clicks

Spongebob Squarepants: 14 clicks

earthworm: 21 clicks

Lady Gaga: 19 clicks

quadrumvirs: 15 clicks

Please attempt yourself and reply in the comments with your root subject and how many clicks! Can't think of something outlandish to test? Use the random article feature!

p.s.

quadrumvirs were "a group of four leader that led Benito Mussolini's March on Rome in October 1922."

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quadrumvirs

The boy who wore a dress to the zoo

As a child, I feared not the boogeyman, nor the dark, for me they were easily conquered. No, for me true fear struck in the form of road trips. There was little I feared more than getting in and staying in that mobile, stuffy, and often crowded closet for more than short amounts of time. This fear was only multiplied by my generally negative disposition and tendency to get motion sick extremely easily. These terrible ingredients stirred and boiled at the proper temperature for the correct amount of time produce a porridge Goldilocks wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. This is not to say I didn’t suffer through a road trip here and there for a trip to the Nashville zoo or Atlanta Aquarium.

One such trip to the Birmingham zoo started innocently enough; there was a shortage of children attending this trip, affording us the opportunity to fold down the middle seat of the shiny silver minivan to stage elaborate battles for the freedom of the Green Army. Ever the underdog, always horribly outnumbered, yet still undefeated in battle, the Green Army put on show after show of determination and grit in the face of the tyranny posed by the Tan menace. The terrible Tan army, scorned by all good, truth-loving communist-hating American boys, were dealt horrific defeat after horrific defeat by the Green Army. These bloody skirmishes entertained me just fine for the better part of the trip, my mind too occupied with the lives I held in my hand to think about the potential throw-up I held in my stomach.

As we drew nearer to our destination though, my eyes were called into service to search for the exit sign. It started as a mere slight churning, but soon I was asking if we could pull over. Then begging. My cries, however, fell on deaf ears as I was informed that “We’re almost there, you’ll be fine for a few more minutes!” The minutes felt like hours as we drew closer and closer to the zoo, where I would be granted sweet relief from my pain.

We had finally crested the final hill and pulled into the parking lot when suddenly I could no longer hold it. Within moments I was not only drenched in a mixture of what used to be 6 chicken Mc-nuggets and a medium sprite (supposedly good for upset stomachs), but so was the entire seat in front of me. After a few moments of horrified staring followed by frenzied crying, we decided that the best course of action was to send one or more members of our group into the gift shop to explore the possibility of purchasing new clothes for me so that our journey could continue.

“Pardon me sir, do you sell clothing here, pants and shirts?” my faithful friend Steven asked the clerk. “Well, no pants, but we do have a line of zoo Birmingham zoo themed t-shirts over there. What size were you looking for?” the clerk answered. “No pants? We’ll have one extra-large, sir.”

"I'm just not sure this long distance relationship is going to work..."

F. Y. I.

Candid Cell Phone Pictures: I feel uplifted already!

Wonder Bread Sessions with Steve

Mona Lisa Pales

The Sun Maid girl is a babe. For reals, this chick has moves. It's not just her perfect complexion, rosy cheeks, brilliant brown eyes, and thick brown locks that make her so attractive; nor is it her soft smile and the gentleness in her eyes. Don’t get me wrong, all the afore mentioned traits are absolutely part of what makes her such a fox, but what really gives her swag is found in her title. She is the sun maid. Adding to her simple gorgeousness is the fact that this girl has been laboring in the sun all day and still has that kind smile. That’s flat out hot. She’s been picking grapes all day, the sun is setting, and she’s still beaming. She’s happy to toil beneath the oppressive rays of the relentless sun. A lesser woman would use her beauty to shirk manual labor, and manipulate her way into a life of ease. Not this girl, no way. She’s no sellout. She’s not looking to depend on anyone, but she’s not so proud that she won’t work in a field. She’s content to do menial work, but why? Does she have infirmed parents to provide for? Were her husband and father-in-law killed defending their homeland, and she’s chosen to loyally support her mother-in-law and follow her back to her homeland, so she works the only job a foreign woman can find? Is her name Ruth? Could be… The point is, she is obviously noble. And pretty. So, to recap, the Sun Maid girl is basically the girl of my dreams. Curse fiction.