Suspect #1 The Bro: Right when he walks in the room the first thought that creeps into your mind is: "look at this tool!" For the bro, a v-neck provides the opportunity to show his carefully crafted and waxed "man cleavage." He can be very confident that his ability to lift heavy things repeatedly will not go unnoticed. The v-neck gives his body the ability to speak volumes without having to open his primary alcohol receptacle.
Suspect #2 The Hipster: For the hipster a solid pair of tight jeans and a v-neck are part of the required uniform that they agreed to wear when they signed the contract that allows them to be presumptuous haters of everything popular. It also lets a hipster show off his "ironic" man carpet. Its as if the closer you are to looking like a bear the more hip you become. Give a hipster a hairy plunging neck line, a creeper stash, an iphone, and a fixed gear bike and he will become immortalized. His name will be spoken in hushed tones all over the kingdom of haters and Pabst drinkers.
Suspect #3 The Little Asian Break Dancer: I swear there must be a height requirement to be in one of these dance crews. Now if the hipsters were searching for an ironic way to dress they should take some notes from these guys. The LABD meshes a bizarre mix of hip-hop culture and spoiled prep school boy into a symphony of fashion worthy of John Cage's approval. The v-neck is just like a modern day adaptation of a karategi. It allows these little guys to spin and twirl like the modern day Ninjas they are.
The bottom line is: a normal cotton tee with a normal collar just isn't good enough! This makes everyone that wears a v-neck an elitist. We all know that everyone hates an elitist. So v-neck wearers don't act like you were never warned. When a freak gardening accident takes the life of your house pets it is just the cosmos adjusting your karma for being such a arrogant bat weed.
-STeVE
The picture is perfect!! I would classify this guy as a rare but valuable bripster.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBeware the hipster hater, for in his quest to destroy all hipsters he may become a much more fearsome beast.
ReplyDeleteSteve,
ReplyDeleteYou amuse me.
~steve.